Friday, April 14, 2006

The Long Road Home

In 1992 I left my home town to go on the road, just like all the previous seasons. I had every intention of returning in the late fall, but I never did.

I've been banging around ever since out in the world, living here, living there, always landing somewhere but home in the off season. This year I'm going home, I have to go home, it's been 14 years.

I always intended on going home, I just never made it, something always came up, or I would get an idea about living in a certain town or city and I would land there. Not this time.

I have the strongest urge ever to go home.

Maybe it's a mid life crisis or something, maybe I'm just returning to the starting point, I haven't quite figured it out yet, but that's what I suspect.

My mother still lives there, I'll be staying with her for awhile. She's getting older now and not in the best of health, she'll be happy I'm home, I told her I was coming, she was thrilled.

I never hated my home town like some people I know. I didn't not return because I hated it, something else always seemed to come up, that's all.

I wonder what I'll find when I get there. My mother has kept me up to date on some things over the years, like so and so got married, such and such had a baby.......there's a new mall, that kind of stuff.

Most of my old friends I grew up with are all gone now, married, jobs, kids, life. My best friend Dave is still there, my Mom see's him and his wife and kids from time to time, he always asks about me of course.

We had a lot of fun when we were kids, me and Dave. We had a lot of "firsts" growing up together.....first time getting drunk...getting kicked out of school for smoking in the bathroom....I got laid for the first time at a party at his house....that kind of shit.

Dave saw me off in the spring of 1992 at the bus station. I shook his hand and told him I'd see him in the late fall.......and I never came back. We kept in touch by phone for awhile, but we drifted apart, lifes like that.

I talked to my Mom the other night. I told her to tell Dave I'll see him in the late fall.

Finally.....I'm going home.


JDL said...

Very interesting blog. You do an excellent job of opening the door and letting us peek into to a world we all ave seen but can't be part of. Keep it up.

Pauli said...

There's a smell at the carnival, I can barely describe it, it's a perfect smell - there's gasoline exhaust, cigarettes, sweat, pastries, pizza, porta-john cleaner, plastic, rust - anyway it's just perfect. It goes with everything else, the sights and sounds, ferris wheels and caliopes....

One time a bunch of us played ski-ball at a carnival and won a stuffed banana and a bunch of helium balloons. We tied all the balloons to the banana and put that f*cker into orbit. Carnivals are beautiful, it's like art.

Who Cares? said...

Thanks jdl

Who Cares? said...

Yes Pauli, they are beautiful in their own way, especially at night.

Mark said...

There is something very good about your writing style.

I was an English major in college, I read a lot of literature. Your writing reminds me of Ernest Hemingway. It is plain and straightforward and it has honesty in it.

I like it.

Who Cares? said...

Thanks Mark, I'm glad you like it. I do try to be honest.

alerted=yes said...

It's like Mr. Lennon said "Life is what happens to you when your busy making other plans". Travelin' just makes it more so don't ya think? Lot of livin' out there! Just when you say you've seen it all in the next moment it's what the fuck was that! I love show biz for just that reason. It's nice that your going home to see your mama. Give her all ya got and tell her the best stories so she can see the world you have. She understands better than anyone I'd bet! Thanks for the good reads. I look forward to more.

Anonymous said...

Your writing reminds me of Charles Bukowski. Good stuff. To the point. Unflinching.